Do’s and Don’t

DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-D0-

• Be present, be a support(er), be there to lean on.
• Listen but do not judge/talk. (people need to talk about their loss, share the pain)
• Share memories, good and bad.
• Use the name of the absent.
• Make something happen : make a meal, write a card, help with driving, run errands,…
• Say :
  • How do you feel today?
  • Would you like to talk about it?
  • It’s ok to be sad.
  • I am sorry.
  • I can not imagine how hard this is for you.
  • I wish you strength.

DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-DON’T-

• Don’t avoid the griever.
• Don’t try to find something positive about the death.
• Don’t change the subject when the person who has died is mentioned.
• Don’t avoid mentioning the dead person for fear that you will remind them of their pain.
• Don’t avoid for fear ; that will make the situation worse. Best to be honest about how you feel.
• Don’t try to cheer the grieving person up.
• Don’t say
  • I know how you feel.
  • It was Gods will,.
  • Look at Jane, her situation is worse.
  • He/She is in a better place now.
  • I understand.
  • You should …