when dealing with grievers
- Be present, be a support(er), be there to lean on.
- Listen but do not judge. (people need to talk about their loss, share the pain)
- Share memories, good and bad.
- Use the name of the absent.
- Make something happen : make a meal, write a card, help with driving, run errands,…
- Say :
- How do you feel today?
- Would you like to talk about it?
- It’s ok to be sad.
- I am sorry.
- I can not imagine how hard this is for you.
- I wish you strength.
- Don’t avoid the griever.
- Don’t try to find something positive about the death.
- Don’t change the subject when the person who has died is mentioned.
- Don’t avoid mentioning the dead person for fear that you will remind them of their pain.
- Don’t avoid for fear ; that will make the situation worse. Best to be honest about how you feel.
- Don’t try to cheer the grieving person up.
- Don’t say
- I know how you feel.
- It was Gods will,.
- Look at Jane, her situation is worse.
- He/She is in a better place now.
- I understand.
- You should …