FAQs

Grieving is the natural emotional process of adapting to loss. It is how we begin to live with what has changed and gently transform what we have lost into memory, meaning, and connection.

Grief can follow any type of loss — the death of a loved one or pet, the end of a relationship, a change in health, the loss of a dream, or a major life transition. People often experience feelings such as sadness, emptiness, loneliness, anger, confusion, or numbness. It can feel as though life has paused or that time has slowed down.

Grief is not a permanent state, and it does not follow a set timeline. It often comes in waves — some days feel heavier, especially when something triggers a memory, while other days feel lighter or more manageable.

Over time, grief changes. The pain usually softens, while the love, meaning, and impact of what was lost remain and become part of who you are.

There is no single “right” way to grieve, but these gentle approaches can help:

★Avoid making major life decisions (moving, changing jobs, remarrying) until things feel more settled.

★Spend time with caring people such as family, friends, or support groups.

★Allow yourself time — everyone grieves differently and at their own pace.

★Express your feelings through talking, crying, writing, or quiet reflection.

★Reach out for help and let others know when you need support.

★Take care of your physical health and see your doctor if stress feels overwhelming.

★Accept that your energy, focus, and capacity may change for a while.

★Support other family members, especially children, through honest and gentle conversations.

The first — and often many — holidays without a loved one can feel especially difficult. Holidays tend to magnify absence, and feelings of grief, emptiness, or sadness may feel more intense.

You may notice that you feel different than you used to. That’s natural. Loss changes us, and there is no right or wrong way to move through meaningful days. Pretending nothing has happened often doesn’t bring relief — but finding ways to gently acknowledge your loss can.

Here are some gentle ideas that may help:

Share memories

Talking about your loved one and remembering them can be comforting. You might:

• Share stories or photos
• Sing a song they loved
• Light a candle in their memory
• Cook or bake something meaningful
• Share a meal and speak their name

Create a ritual

Rituals help give shape and meaning to grief. You might:

• Write a poem or letter
• Play a special piece of music
• Hang a stocking or memory jar and invite others to add notes
• Attend a holiday service (in person or online)
• Create a scrapbook or memory box

Sometimes others may not understand your need to include your loved one — and that’s okay. It can help to gently tell people what you need.

You might say:

• “What I’m looking forward to is…”
• “What I’m not looking forward to is…”
• “To make the day feel more manageable for me, I would like…”

Adjust traditions

Traditions don’t have to stay the same. You may choose to keep them, change them, or pause them this year. All of those choices are valid.

Accept support

Wanting to be alone can be part of grief — and at the same time, gentle connection can help. Accepting support takes strength. Even small interactions (a walk, a call, a message) can matter.

Be kind to yourself

Grief is hard work. Try to support your body and mind by:

• Eating regularly
• Resting when you can
• Moving gently
• Avoiding unnecessary stress
• Doing small things that feel comforting or grounding

There is no way to “do this perfectly.” There is only the way that feels most supportive for you.

DO’s:

★Be present and offer steady emotional support.

★Listen without judgment or trying to fix their grief.

★Encourage sharing memories, both happy and painful.

★Use the name of the person who has died.

★Offer practical help like meals, errands, or childcare.

★Ask open questions like “How are you feeling today?”

★Validate feelings by saying “It’s okay to be sad.”

★Acknowledge the loss with simple honesty (“I’m so sorry.”)

DONT’S

★Don’t avoid the grieving person or withdraw out of discomfort.

★Don’t look for a positive meaning in the death.

★Don’t change the subject when the deceased is mentioned.

★Don’t avoid saying their name out of fear of causing pain.

★Don’t try to cheer them up or rush their healing.

★Don’t compare their grief to others’ losses.

★Don’t give advice or tell them what they “should” do.

★Don’t use minimizing phrases like “I know how you feel” or “They’re in a better place.”

Complicated grief (also called prolonged grief) is when feelings of loss remain intense, overwhelming, or disruptive long after a death, making it difficult to return to daily life or find moments of relief.

It is more likely when the loss was sudden, traumatic, violent, or involved a long illness; when the person grieving has little emotional support; when multiple losses or major life changes happen at the same time; when the relationship with the person who died was complex or highly dependent; or when someone has experienced previous trauma, health challenges, or the loss of a child at any age.

Support can help people gently process both the trauma and the grief, so healing can happen in a safe, paced way.

★http://www.mygrief.ca is an online resource to help people move through their grief from the comfort of their home.

★https://help2makesense.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/teenagers_pullout.pdf is a hands on tool for teens who lost a parent/sibling/family member

★https://slapd.com is the social media for teens who have lost a parent to find hope and connections through shared experiences

★The importance of relationships and belonging

★ Unforgiveness and your health

★The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) has a 24/12-helpline: 1-833 456-4566

★Halton Region Distress and Crisis centre info: www.dcontario.org

★http://www.canadiangriefalliance.ca: article about Making Canadians’Grief a Priority

★ http://www.childrenandyouthgriefnetwork.com : helpful info about planning a memorial/funeral at home.
★widowedvillage.org : online, no-cost forum for those who are widowed.